You know that fitful sleep you have when life starts throwing bombs at your turtle shell? My default way of dealing with it is doing what my mom told me to do when I was little and had a stomach ache.

"Turn over on your tummy and put your hands under your belly," she would say, as she tucked my legs up under me in a fetal position. And there I would lay until those pangs went away.

Mom was an expert at this as her gut was the place she carried all her stress. Ulcers eventually gave way to diverticulitis and it was actually an exploratory surgery for the above which ended up shortening her life. Obviously, the "turtle tuck position" she advocated wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Now that I'm older and have back issues, that position usually lands me at the chiropractor's office with a frozen neck.  Sleep aids don't work for me - one almost landed me in the hospital with chest pains. With the help of melatonin and a cup of warm almond milk, I can usually fall asleep; it's the staying asleep that troubles me most.

There's the tossing and turning, sleep, wake up, sleep wake up pattern that makes me feel like I've been run over by a truck by the time I finally get out of bed in the morning. But the real nightmare (pun intended) is when I'm sleeping just fine and dandy and then all of a sudden I find myself wide awake. I immediately go into denial: "This is a fake wake-up, right? I'm just temporarily awake, let me fluff my pillow a little, flip it over to the cool side, I'll be back to sleep in no time."

Yeah, right.

I know you know what I'm talking about, we've all been there - suddenly you can't even remember what it feels like to enjoy a good night's sleep. There's something about being wide awake in the middle of the night that is so anxiety  producing; you start to project how you'll feel the next day - wiped out, irritable, overwhelmed, nerves on edge, and before you know it, you get your wish.

Now this is the part of the post where I'm supposed to tell you how to fix all that; this is a motivational blog, correct? Sorry, I got nothing. Nothing that works consistently, anyway. Some nights I meditate on scripture verses, which vary depending on whatever is the source of my wakefulness. Lately I've had some success with breaking a Benadryl tablet in half and setting it on my nightstand, just in case. I try not to take it because it gives me such a hangover the next morning, but it's comforting just to know it's there.

I talked about my sleeplessness with my mentor yesterday and really resonated with the prayer she said for me: She asked the Lord to minister to me emotionally, to help me to deal with whatever difficult situations I face during the day but then give me the ability to control my mind in the middle of the night. She asked God to flood me with peace beyond understanding, to help me begin to understand that peace and not feel I'm going into denial about my problems by receiving it. I knew instantly that was at the heart of my sleep issues.

Pretty deep stuff to deal with and I will - just not in the middle of the night.